Russ - I Love You Boy

I love you more
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I love you more
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah)

You grew up in a environment that was hostile and got wild
Arguments you heard as a small child had an effect
That left you with a lot to undo
Your first words was screamin' at your mom sayin', "Fuck you"
Imagine the visual, diaper on, already dealin' with the residual
Effects of an explosive father figure was difficult
Mama was miserable, his love fеlt conditional
You better be pеrfect, otherwise he'll be hypocritical
Belittle you 'til you nothin', yeah, hurts to listen
Neither parent knew how to regulate the nervous system
Dad was reactive, mom was fatalistic
No one to protect you, grandfather paid a visit
To take you and your siblings and your mama far away
Twenty-nine years later, she regrets that she stayed
You were doomed from the start, you were hurt and ostracized
There's a wound in your heart, survival mode, you traumatized (For real)

I love you more (I love you)
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I love you more
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah)

The monster you created to protect the kid in you is hard to manage
Supreme confidence, deep cripplin' insecurity
The damage that's been done is explicit, and abusive and a critic
Nothin' that you ever do is really good enough, is it?
You didn't get validation from your dad
So you replaced him with the industry and started to rap
You wanted praise and acknowledgement and picked a profession that
People who look like you don't get, now the range of accomplishments
Bein' ignored, authoritative outside force
That you, yet again, apparently, aren't good enough for
All fueled you, your need to be liked and feel wanted consumed you
That's why you call a chick every night to come do you
Only to be left feelin' less than before
Didn't have the tools to manage stress, you at war
With yourself, you need love
Drinkin' to forget that bein' you is not enough
Overcompensatin' in interviews, tryna prove that you right
Maybe then you'll be liked
Tryna prove you're worthy of approval you weren't shown in your home
I'm sorry that I ever left you all alone

I love you more (I'm sorry)
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I love you more
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah)

You deserve a pat on the back and a round of applause
The sound of this song makes you think I'm not proud, but you wrong
Look how far you took it, international bookings, you gave your family a cushion
And through the hate, you kept pushin'
Knew you had people lookin' up to you, you held your composure
As hell moved close to you, you a soldier, it's a shock that you were ever sober
I never told you how I feel, I apologize
Lot of guys would've folded, I guess I'm not surprised
You prophesized this from the get go
Anything you wanted, went and got it 'cause you said so
Packs of women fightin' over you like Shevchenko
Seven figure checks, private jets, your best friends know
Your character, you proved that by sharin' your
Successes and blessings, but when you hurt, we hurt
Breakdowns mean that it's time for a rebirth, so
You carried me as far as you could go
Now it's time to say goodbye, before I leave, you should know though, yeah

I love you more
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I love you more
Than before
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah